sports
byEric Greenberg
There's nothing quite like a good fantasy football league. It's a great way to keep in touch with some of your closest friends, employees and family. Each team's goal is to come in first so they can earn a lot of money, but if they can't reach that goal, it's critical that they don't come in last. The major leagues have a Sacko penalty, named after the League show where the team that comes in last must face a predetermined consequence. Every year is filled with fantastic last-place penalties, so now that the 2018 NFL regular season is over, it's only fitting that we share the top 10 penalty ideas for every last-place finisher in fantasy football.
10. Eat a burrito sitting on a stinky chamber pot by the back door.
With the end of fantasy leagues, there will be a lot of penalties for last place.
Here's one of our fans being forced to eat a burrito outside of the game.DM or tag us in a photo of your punishment and we might post it!# fantasy football pic.twitter.com/QoKodwgMA3
— Fantasy and chill (@FantasyAndChill)December 30, 2017
The punishment of this fantasy football league is not the ideal way to follow a football game. This loser has to sit on a chamber pot with the door open before the game and eat a burrito while doing so. We all know how gross these portable toilets are pre-game. Even though the burrito is from chipotle, I would have a hard time believing the burrito tastes good while sitting on a potty.
9. Superman and his briefcase go rollerblading to New York
Another league full of high school friends who just graduated from college have their losing skate travel 15 miles to New York City using whatever the winning team chooses. This year, the loser must wear a superman costume along with a briefcase. I suggest this guy pack his briefcase with a bunch of bottled water and Gatorade, as it's going to be a long and tiring trip. I hope Superman can use his special powers and make it. (H/T Reddit)
8. Driving with a pink license plate cover that says "I suck at fantasy football."
Several fantasy football leagues require the last-place finisher to drive year-round in a pink cape reading "I suck at fantasy football". It's bad enough being that guy walking around town with a pink sign. It's even worse when you have to remind everyone that you suck at fantasy football. Imagine spending an entire year with that plaque and all the different looks you get for it.
7. Sign my petition to make the world flat
A fantasy football league had their "Sacko" trying to find people to sign their flat world petition. Hopefully this underdog finds Kyrie Irving as that would be an automatic hire. Irving said last year, “The Earth is flat”…” Because what I've known for so many years, and what I've come to believe, what I've been taught, is that the Earth is round. But I mean, if you really think about it from a landscape like the way we travel, the way we move and the fact that you can really think of us revolving around the sun and all the planets lined up, revolving in specific dates, being perpendicular to what's going on with these planets, and stuff like that." Kyrie, you've convinced me, I need this loser to send me the petition so I can sign it.
6. Acting in a stand up comedy show is very difficult when you are not prepared.
The idea is to have the league finalist perform in a stand-up comedy show. However, he thinks he's going to be fine because the other league members told him that they would make up the jokes and give him the part just before he went up for his skit. Little does this guy know that he will receive a blank piece of paper. I hope it's good in time or else this is going to get ugly real quick.
5. Go to formal university with a girl chosen by the league
This only works if you're still in college, but if you are, it's cruel. A group of college students is letting the winner of the league choose who the loser should ask on a formal date. The winner plans to have his friend ask his ex-girlfriend after she broke up with him just a month ago why she was doing bad things with another guy. This is going to be a very awkward time for this girl and I'm counting on her saying yes. (H/T My friend's league)
4. Pay for a league-wide Brazzers account
If your league is looking for a consequence where all league members are winners, you should have your Sacko buy a subscription to a Brazzers account. This is a popular consequence of fantasy football because you are guaranteed a Brazzers account during your league. The best part about it is that you can monitor what your friends are watching. We all know we have a friend or family member in our leagues who watches animated porn but is afraid to admit it. Now they are trapped.
3. Watch closely while your friend is doing the ACT with a group of teenagers
This is classic fallout for fantasy football underdogs, but it never disappoints. This fantasy pool takes you to the next step. A group of friends in their 30s from Connecticut get their loser to go act up on a Saturday morning in their hometown. The best part is the rest of the league members in the parking lot. Imagine sitting down for four hours and auditioning a group of teenagers knowing that all of your friends are watching this big event. Of course, when the loser leaves the test, it has to be the designated driver, so there are no mix-ups for this guy. Maybe next year buddy and good luck on the exam. (H/T Reddit)
2. The Loser Edition of the Sports Illustrated Body Issue Turned Into a Calendar
Every guy loves the Sports Illustrated Body theme. So having your loser create his own body issue makes every other member of the league laugh a lot. This league is having the loser hire a professional photographer to take body shots from different angles so he can make a schedule for all the league members counting down the days until the draft. I'm sure his wife won't be too happy with this news, however, if she really cared so much, she could have helped her husband not to get worse in 2018.
1. Do all your erasures while sitting in a bathroom full of poo from rubber bands
Finally, the best consequence for fantasy football is a bunch of guys ordering a bunch of taco bell for their draft party. His intention is for most members to play a number 2 on john. The loser must recruit their team while sitting on the toilet seat, after all league members have finished their business in the bathroom. Somehow this guy is expected to select a better team than last year. Good luck, buddy, and make sure the smell doesn't distract you from making the best defense in the first round. (H/T Reddit)